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Parasympathetic Oasis
Excerpts from Fear of Intimacy
ch 6 : inwardness: self protective patterns that restrict emotional
transactions between partners
page 135
The inward (defended) state & it's opposite, a feelingful state, represent
end points on a continuum.
Between these 2 extremes lies the gray area in which most people live.
"Normal" individuals are continually contending with the voice.......
not
completely possessed by critical voices &....not completely removed from
feeling.
However, their spirit & sensitivity are dulled considerably,.
Their diminished feelings for self & others makes it possible for them to
unconsciously act out destructive behaviors toward themselves & their
loved ones.
....The suppression of feelings begins in childhood.
Unable to escape a punishing or toxic home situation, children gradually
disengage from themselves as scared hurting people & become...someone other
than themselves.
In doing so they cut off feelings of compassion toward themselves &
sensitivity towards others.
In ceasing to identify with themselves, they build a kind of facade, a
social image.
Thereafter, role determined emotions, conventional perceptions &
secretiveness increasingly replace real feelings, rational thinking & open
expressions of emotion.
People who are inward & suppress their feeling responses also tend to view
themselves & their partners more as objects than as persons.
In relating to themselves in this manner, they give little or no value to
their experiences & are often indifferent to their physical health &
emotional wellbeing.
Remedial Procedures:
Use of Voice Therapy, Feeling Release Therapy & the Dissolution of the
Fantasy Bond.
Identifying negative thoughts & behavior patterns, counteracting them & the
evolution of the individual towards authentic intimacy.
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